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She was tired and hungry, like she was most days when she got in from work, but Emma loved her job at Liberty Park Hotel. The first few days were stressful when she wasn’t sure of how to handle certain situations but once she was there for a week or two, Emma loved it.
Caitlin didn’t talk about her job much, but Emma got the impression that she wasn’t happy. Emma knew that she’d prefer to be singing but it hadn’t happened for Caitlin yet.
She continued to play gigs every week, but it wouldn’t be enough to cover rent and bills, so Caitlin had to keep working at the coffee shop.
Emma noticed that if Caitlin went more than a week without playing a gig, her mood changed. Emma didn’t like to use the word ‘depressed’ loosely but that was the only way she could describe it and Emma didn’t know how to fix it.
When Emma asked her about it, Caitlin brushed it off, blaming her mood on writer’s block. She told Emma that she couldn’t finish a song that she’d been working on for weeks.
Emma just hoped that Caitlin would get a break soon and that they could move past this.
Emma finished cutting the vegetables and threw them into the wok and moved it onto the stove.
She heard a key in the door as she stirred the strips around and added seasoning.
“Hey babe,” Emma called over her shoulder.
“Hi… Hmmm, that smells delicious,” Caitlin said as she came into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around Emma’s waist from behind.
“How was your day?”
“It was alright,” Caitlin said as she dropped her hands and went to the fridge to get a bottle of water. “Crazy busy. What about you?”
“Same… Nothing special. This’ll be ready in a minute if you’re hungry,” Emma said as she pushed the strips of vegetables around in the pan.
“Yeah. That’d be great… Can I talk to you about something first?”
“Sure.” Emma turned off the heat and moved the wok to the back of the stove.
“Have you ever been to Los Angeles?”
“No…”
“Okay, well…” Caitlin’s lips moved into a smile. “I was thinking that L.A. could be good for us. You could pursue your photography. I could get more gigs, more exposure. The weather is amazing… We could learn how to surf.”
“Are you being serious?” Emma asked. She was leaning back against the counter with her arms folded across her chest.
“Yes.”
“You want to move to Los Angeles?” Emma asked, just to make sure that she was understanding her.
Caitlin nodded.
“But all of my family and friends live here. This is where I grew up. We just got this apartment.”
“I know... But this will be like an adventure. We’d meet new people, make new friends. There’ll be new opportunities. I want to be a musician, an artist… And I think I’ll have a much better chance of being discovered out there.”
“It sounds like you already have your mind made up,” Emma said, not quite believing what she was hearing.
“I just think it could be fun… A new start.”
“Look Caitlin, I know you haven’t been happy the last few weeks, but do you really think that moving across the country is going to help?”
“I think it’s worth a shot. And it’s not all about me by the way,” Caitlin said, her voice getting a little edgier. “You’ve been talking about taking your photography more seriously and getting some paying gigs. We both have a bit saved up since we went with a studio instead of a one or two bed apartment.”
“I don’t know,” Emma said as she pushed herself off the counter and padded into the living room.
Caitlin followed her, still pleading her case. “I need to find out if I have what it takes to make it in this business.”
“I know,” Emma said as she ran a hand through her jet-black hair. “And you know that I want that for you… to have a career in music…”
“Then come with me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“I don’t know if I can stay here,” Caitlin said quietly.
“Then I’ll have to think about it I guess,” Emma said, meeting her blue eyes.
Chapter 3
October 2005
After their conversation about Los Angeles three weeks ago, things had gone back to normal and they hadn’t talked about it again… Until today.
Emma thought that maybe Caitlin had moved on from the idea, but it was actually the opposite.
L.A. was all that Caitlin had been thinking about and Emma found out about it that evening when Caitlin got home.
“Hey, how was work?” Emma asked from the couch. She’d gotten home an hour ago and was stretched out, watching tv.
“I quit.”
Emma sat up and turned off the tv. “What?”
“I couldn’t stick it anymore.”
“Okay… So, what’s the plan?” Emma asked.
“The same plan that I came up with a few weeks ago.”
“You’re moving to L.A.?”
“Yes, but I’m still planning on convincing you to come with me.”
“So, you’re going no matter what?” Emma asked as she stood up. “With or without me?”
“I have to…”
Emma felt a tear escape down her cheek. “I can’t believe this is happening…”
When Caitlin hadn’t mentioned it again, Emma stopped worrying about it. Now all of those fears were rushing back to her.
“If you want to stay… We can work something out.”
“When have long distance relationships ever worked?”
“I don’t know,” Caitlin said quietly.
“I don’t think that’s a realistic option.”
“So, you have to decide whether or not to come with me.”
Emma couldn’t meet Caitlin’s eyes. She knew what the answer was, and she felt another tear trickle down her cheek while she tried to form the words.
“I can’t go…,” Emma said softly in a voice that she hardly recognized as her own. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter 4
October 2015
Cat took a drink of water as they went back on air and listened to the DJ tell his audience about her song.
“That was Cat Stone with her first single Endless Love from her debut album titled the same… So, Cat, you’re making your way across the country. First of all, I want to thank you for stopping by our little radio station. Not many artists do.”
“Well, thank you for having me,” Cat said as she adjusted her headphones.
“But seriously though… You’ve been kind of taken in almost by the country music industry, but I don’t think that would be your first-choice genre if you had to be categorized? Or am I wrong about that?”
“I don’t like to put my music into one box but… I always thought of myself as more folk with a bit of a twist. I guess that’s alternative folk? But a lot of country music radio stations have been playing my song which is great…”
“There’s rumors about you being up for best new country artist.”
“I would be incredibly honored if that turned out to be true,” Cat said with smile. “I can only hope, right?”
“You would be deserving of a nomination like that. I mean, this is a long time coming right? You’ve been gigging for years?”
“Yes… I’ve been writing and performing for the last fifteen years.”
“Well, I’m glad that you’re finally getting the recognition that you deserve. Unfortunately, we’re running out of time on the show, but we do have another two to three minutes and we’d love it if you could perform another song from your debut album ‘Endless Love.’”
“Sure… I’m going to sing a song called ‘Still Yours.’”
Cat checked that her guitar was in tune and then started playing the intro to the song.
Chapter 5
October 2015
Emma power walked to her favorite coffee shop where she was meeting her best friend, Tori, during her lunc
h break.
She was freezing, the tips of fingers already going slightly numb underneath her black leather gloves.
The first snowfall of the year had arrived. Philadelphia was only meant to get three or four inches, with New Jersey getting the brunt of the storm.
She pushed open the door of the coffee shop, the warm air and aroma of coffee hitting her as soon as she stepped inside.
Tori already had a table beside the window, and Emma joined her, unbuttoning her charcoal winter jacket and shrugging it off her shoulders to hang it on the back of her chair.
“Hey,” Tori said as she looked up at Emma. “I got you a pumpkin spiced latte. I know you can never get enough of them this time of year.”
“Thanks,” Emma said as she sat down across from her.
Emma met Tori’s golden-brown eyes as brought her mug to her lips. She was lucky to have Tori in her life.
Tori was stunning and exactly Emma’s type, but they just didn’t connect when they went on a date after a few days of chatting online.
They had a lot in common and that was what had originally drawn Emma to her profile, along with the beautiful profile photo that Tori had with her long chestnut hair swept across her shoulders.
Tori hadn’t given up on online dating like Emma had and still went on dates most weekends when she wasn’t busy working.
At least Tori had more people to choose from. She was bi-sexual and had dated both men and women since Emma had met her.
Right now, Tori was single too and she was still trying to get Emma back out there. She always said she felt guilty for being the last person that Emma had dated.
“So, I heard that you’re shooting for Cat Stone,” Emma said, feeling slightly warmer already with a cup of coffee between her two hands.
“Yeah. She wants some shots done outside for her album art.”
“I heard her song on the radio on the way home yesterday,” Emma said as she took a sip, the scent of cinnamon filling her nostrils as she brought her mug to her lips.
“She’s good, isn’t she?”
Emma nodded.
“Her manager asked me if I’d come to the gig she’s playing on Thursday,” Tori said.
“Oh yeah?”
“They said they always need live shots. It might not make the cut for the album art, but I said I’d do it. Do you want to come? Dust off the camera? Take some shots?”
Emma swallowed the lump that had just formed in her throat. She normally jumped at the chance to tag along with Tori but this time it might be too hard.
It would be exactly like all the nights that she went to Caitlin’s gigs when they were together. She didn’t just go to hear her sing. She almost always brought her camera with her.
“I don’t know,” Emma said.
“Okay. Suit yourself. But you’ll probably regret it when she’s super famous.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Sure,” Tori said as she finished her coffee. “I’m actually going to head over to the hotel now… Get some ideas for the shoot.”
“I’ll see you there. I have so much to do. I don’t think I’ll be taking the full hour.”
Chapter 6
October 2015
Cat watched Philadelphia’s familiar historic buildings go by through the backseat window of the cab.
She hadn’t been back since she lived here with Emma ten years ago.
Over the years, she’d wondered if she made the right decision to leave but it had all been worth it. She looked like she finally had a secure foot in the door of the music industry.
She did daydream about what life might have been like if she had stayed. Cat would probably still be with Emma.
But would she have been happy?
She loved Emma, but she needed to do this for herself. She needed to find out if she was really cut out to be a musician.
Cat’s life revolved around music. If she wasn’t recording a song, she was writing one. If she wasn’t performing, she was networking at a music festival.
Emma had always supported her music but when Cat had made up her mind to leave Philadelphia, Emma wouldn’t come with her.
Cat never really got over that. She knew it was a big ask but, in the weeks, leading up to the night they broke up, Cat had just assumed that Emma would come with her.
Yes, it was going to take some convincing, but Cat was confident that she could talk her into it.
She hadn’t been expecting Emma to have such a definite answer and it was like a slap in the face.
After that night, Cat packed her things and left. She went to a friend’s while she organized her move to Los Angeles.
She’d been in a daze, but Cat turned her focus to her music and the big picture. She knew that all the pain and heartache she was feeling that night would only be temporary.
Cat almost laughed to herself when she thought about how naïve she’d been.
Temporary.
In her mind, ‘temporary’ meant a few weeks maybe a few months.
Cat never expected that it would take years to get over Emma. Almost every song she wrote, whether it was upbeat or dark and moody, could be traced back to Emma.
She was lucky in that way, that she had music as her therapy. Cat always wondered if Emma had as much trouble getting through those first few months as she did.
Cat never contacted her. What would have been the point?
Emma had made her feelings clear when she said that she couldn’t go with her. There was no reason to stay in touch. They’d never be friends.
“Here we are,” Jeff Weiss said as he paid the taxi driver and got out of the backseat.
They’d pulled up outside Liberty Park Hotel on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Jeff, her manager, had found this place online and said that it looked like the perfect place to spend a few days while she was in town gigging and doing interviews.
He’d said that the gardens were amazing and that they should get some shots for her album artwork here.
Cat trusted him and once again, he didn’t disappoint. They walked up the steps of the hotel, letting the porter take care of their bags.
Jeff had called ahead so their rooms were ready, and the receptionist gave them their keys. Originally, they weren’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow, but they had a free day and they both agreed to spend it in Philadelphia. Luckily, the hotel had two rooms for them tonight.
“Thank you,” Cat said as she took the room key from her best friend and now manager.
“You can relax for the rest of the day. We’ll do the shoot tomorrow and you’ll have a few radio interviews to do in the morning too so make sure you get a good night’s sleep.”
“Yes, boss,” Cat joked. “I’ll probably see you later.”
Cat loved having Jeff around. When she first asked him to be her manager it was just a joke. He wasn’t being paid because Cat only had a few gigs around L.A. and was recording music in her closet.
But as the years went by and Cat started getting a following on social media and then more gigs, Jeff actually had a job to do.
He stayed working at the bar where they’d initially met until just a few weeks ago. Even though it still wasn’t a sure thing, Jeff had left his job and came on the road with her.
He said that he had a bit of money saved up and what better way to spend a few weeks. They’d be going on a road trip across the country and Jeff said he couldn’t think of anyone else he’d rather go with.
Jeff was also one of the very few people who knew that Cat was gay. She hadn’t intended to go back in the closet. It had just sort of happened and now she was afraid to step back out again.
Jeff was often her beard if Cat had an event to go to. She didn’t feel like she needed to have a ‘boyfriend.’ She just wanted to bring her best friend with her to enjoy the night but they got mistaken as a couple so many times and people had started to assume that Cat was straight.
It wasn’t ideal, and Cat knew that Jeff didn’t mind but he was s
traight. She just hoped that she wasn’t preventing him from meeting anybody.
He was incredibly handsome though with jet black hair and deep blue eyes. He was generous and funny and so far, he was a great manager.